Do Your Parents Have an Estate Plan?
Dec 15 2025
By: John Drapp
Posted in: Estate Planning
Are you a member of the sandwich generation – those that are caring for their children AND their parents at the same time? If so, it’s critical that you know whether or not your parents have an existing estate plan. While the details and decisions of their estate plans obviously belong to them, creating a comprehensive estate plan is an absolute necessity, regardless of when it is done.
It's likely that the thought of talking to your parents about important and maybe sensitive topics like their finances and estate planning will make you want to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Nonetheless, having this conversation is the key to ensuring that your parents are able to live their golden years without financial worries and that their wishes are carried out after their death.
Estate Planning for Your Parents
Beginning the conversation about your parents’ future, especially concerning their finances, medical care, and final wishes, can certainly be challenging. But, it’s without question one of the most important discussions you’ll ever have with them. Addressing these topics sooner rather than later benefits everyone involved and ensures greater peace of mind and preparedness for the future. This crucial dialogue should encompass plans for when one or both parents pass away as well as scenarios where they become incapacitated and unable to manage their own affairs. To help ensure that their estate plan is comprehensive and follows their wishes, consider discussing the following key areas with your parents:
- A team effort. Encourage your parents to make a list of their professional advisors. This list should include the professionals they work with on legal, financial and accounting matters, including their contact information. This list should also include the contact information for your parents’ doctors so that whoever they nominate as their health care representative can reach them if needed. Even if they prefer not to share the list immediately, they can create it and let you know where to find the information in an emergency.
- Last will and testament or a trust. If you discover that your parents don’t have a last will and testament (will) or a revocable living trust (trust), it’s probable that they don’t have other essential estate planning documents, as these important documents are often created together as part of a comprehensive estate plan. If they do have wills in place, confirm when they were created, who the executor is, and where the original documents are kept. Similarly, if you discover that they have a trust, you will want to confirm who the trustee is, whether or not they have properly funded property and financial accounts into their trust, and where the original trust documents are stored. Let them know that you don’t need to read their will or trust in its entirety, but knowing where to find the original documents is crucial to ensuring that their wishes are carried out when the time comes.
- Medical directives. While discussing your parents’ estate plan, confirm whether they have created a living will (also known as an advance directive or healthcare instructions) and a designation of health care representative. These important documents allow someone to make medical decisions on their behalf if they’re unable to make or communicate their own medical decisions. If you discover that they have these tools in place, encourage them to have a conversation with their chosen representative to ensure that the decision-maker understands your parents’ feelings and wishes about both their medical care preferences as well as their end-of-life care, such as how their medical affairs should be handled should they become incapacitated and their preferences when it comes to life support.
- Insurance policies. It’s important for you or your parents’ trusted decision-makers to know what insurance policies they have and where policy documentation is located, especially if one or both parents become incapacitated. This includes health insurance (private or Medicare), life insurance, homeowner’s insurance, auto insurance, disability insurance, and long-term care policies.
- Financial, Investment, and Retirement Accounts. Encourage your parents to create a complete list of their checking, savings, brokerage, mutual fund, pension, and retirement accounts. This list should include where each account is held, account numbers, and the names of any key contacts at the institution. It’s also helpful for the beneficiaries, if any, to be listed as well. Just as important, your parents should have a power of attorney in place so that a trusted individual can step in and manage these accounts if your parents are traveling, ill, injured, or otherwise unable to manage their affairs. The power of attorney should be durable to ensure it’s available to use in the event of incapacity. In Connecticut, powers of attorney are presumed to be durable unless otherwise stated. An experienced estate planning attorney can assist with drafting this document, but it is also wise to ask whether the financial institutions involved have their own power of attorney forms, since these may be more readily accepted. Under Connecticut law, a financial institution cannot refuse to accept the statutory form power of attorney, but that may sometimes result in a delay in gaining access to accounts. Having a valid power of attorney ensures that someone can access and manage your parents’ accounts, whether checking, investment, or retirement, so that day-to-day expenses are covered and long-term financial needs are met during incapacity and beyond.
Why Estate Planning Matters
Failing to put together an estate plan often leads to chaos, excessive costs and taxes, unnecessary court involvement, inadequate incapacity planning, potential hurt feelings, delays in distributing inheritances, and even unexpected outcomes after death. Fear and discomfort can keep you from having this important estate planning conversation with your parents. As estate planning attorneys, we can provide your parents with guidance and advice on what options are available to them so that their wishes are followed upon their death.
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